June in the Hamptons
It’s hot outside. So painfully hot. And since New York had its hottest day since 2012 already this season, I yearned to be near some body of water. Since living here, the closest thing to water I’ve come to are the cold droplets from window air conditioning unit water from apartments on my face while walking on the sidewalk. Even the window AC units are sweating right now.
Each summer, I’ve heard of New Yorkers going to the Hamptons. I heard it was a good escape from the city during these blistering, disgusting temperatures. The second you step outside your walkup, it feels like there is hot air blowing on your face. If that’s going to be my reality, I need to have a book in my hand, my butt in a lounge chair, and a pool at my toes.
I also had a bachelorette party that I was going to in Palm Beach, Florida this summer (my first one ever!) That was something I was really looking forward to.
So this June, I vacationed in the Hamptons and Palm Beach.
As a Kentucky lady, I had no idea how oddly connected the cultures of Manhattan, the Hamptons, and Palm Beach really are. I mean, look, I don’t want to act like I had no idea… but I kind of had no idea.
All I really knew was that folks (usually, a very affluent type of folk) from Manhattan went to the Hamptons “to summer” since it was just a short Long Island Rail Road ride away.
(Okay let’s be so forreal. “They” don’t take the train. They either take the Hamptons Streamliner. Or their cars. Maybe an Uber. Or better yet, a helicopter.)
I didn’t fully realize the parallels of the scene and the status until this past month.
Within two weeks, I somehow ended up in two of the most glamourous, expensive, and luxe travel destinations: the Hamptons and Palm Beach (they are basically sisters–they still have their differences, but you can tell they are related).
I feel that I’ve stumbled into this whole seasonal circuit I didn’t really know existed. Like I accidentally showed up to a high-society party that I was certainly not invited to, but no one noticed. Very Gatsby-esque.
A similar situation happened within the first few months of living in Manhattan. It was when I wandered into Sant Ambroeus on the Upper East Side for the first time. I was still in graduate school and I wanted to get out of our apartment to write a paper, so I thought it looked cute and went inside to write. I didn’t think much of it other than the coffee was delectable and the environment was gorgeous. I sat, then drank, then wrote.
It wasn’t until multiple Sant Ambroeus trips later that I started to notice a very certain type of patron that got their caffeine fix there. Elegant. Put together. ALO head to toe. Nuna strollers accessorized with a Birkin. Celine sunglasses. Audemars Piguet.
All that being said, Sant Ambroeus is a higher-end coffee shop (shockingly, the prices don’t really reflect that) and it took me a while to “get it”. And I still go there in leggings I’ve had since my freshman year of college and a Lululemon tank top I thrifted from Poshmark.
You get the picture.
Up until this year, Florida was always where I went “to summer”.
(I’m jokingly using that phrase. So many people in Manhattan say they go to x location “to summer” and it sounds so pretentious and forced yet weirdly elegant so I just had to say it.)
I absolutely love going to Florida, especially with my family. There was never any pretense about it. If it was June or July, the Garnett’s were heading down south to Florida for sun and seafood–and that was it. Not to see or be seen, but to enjoy the tropical vibes and to enjoy time with one another. And it was amazing, year after year. I am so grateful to have had those experiences and memories with my family and so lucky that we were able to go on a vacation in the first place.
Andrew and I realized we had never gone on a “vacation” together. We go back to Kentucky so often and are still very much tourists in New York City, so we felt it wasn’t really necessary up until this point. It is one of our goals to venture out and travel more, so we were trying to decide what place would be relaxing and check the summer-vibes checklist, while also being the most budget-friendly for us.
And comically enough, it was the Hamptons. Our kneejerk destination was Florida and somehow it didn’t make sense financially. We’d have to pay a hefty price for a flight to Florida, or we could pay $48 roundtrip for a spot on a train on the Long Island Rail Road. So that’s what we did.
Day 1
As soon as we arrived in Southampton, it was raining; determined to not let a rainy day ruin the day, we Ubered into town and stopped at one of the lowkey hotspots, The Golden Pear cafe. After the price of that 5 minute Uber, I had a feeling that we might have to rent a car–which was something we had not budgeted for or planned in any way.
As we are schlepping our soaking wet carry-on bags in this tiny cafe, I can sense that we are both extremely overstimulated. Well I knew I was. We sit down, let out a deep exhale, and enjoy some tea and pastries until we decided what we wanted to do while we waited to check into our Airbnb. Almost instantly, an elderly lady clocked that we had clearly never been to the Hamptons before, and asked us, “Where are you all coming from?”
“The Upper East Side,” I respond way too confidently like I’m in a Gilmore Girls episode.
“Ah yes, okay. Are you all here for the summer?”
My inner monologue: Here for the summer? Is this lady on drugs? In this economy? I also just got laid off at my job two days ago (oh yeah, that happened) and we are budgeting on every little thing we get, so this question, for a second, sent a flame up my spine.
“Oh no, no. I wish! We are just staying at an Airbnb for 5 days.”
“Oh okay. Is it expensive?”
My inner monologue, again: Is it expensive? What is that your business? Ma’am–isn’t that a little rude to ask? Oh wait, we are in the Hamptons. This is how people talk to each other I guess.
“No it’s not too bad, shockingly.”
She nods her head judgmentally, likely thinking we are staying in someone’s garage.
Whatever. We continue eating. Debating on what to do next.
We decided to go walk around and venture out in the town.
Andrew and I are kind-of professionals when it comes to lugging around luggage around a new town we haven’t been to. When his cousin got married two October’s ago, we landed way earlier than everyone else did, and also had to wait on the Airbnb to be ready. So we drug our carry-ons all throughout Charleston. We walked 5 miles that day with our luggage pieces. I also had on Uggs. But we had a blast.
However, this time was different. This was our vacation, not a quick lil’ weekend. I wanted to feel as carefree as possible. We continue to walk.
And then it starts pouring. Without skipping a beat, we both were like “Let’s go to Hertz.”
We got our rental car, a hot red Jeep Compass, and all was right in the world. We drove around Meadow Lane and Gin Lane, deemed the Billionaires Row of Southampton. And it held up to its name, trust me. These homes were so big they looked like entire corporations.
After driving around rainy Southampton, we started to get hungry and wanted to venture out some–considering we now had a vehicle. We went to Sag Harbor and had one of the most spectacular lunches we’ve ever had at Baron’s Cove.
Something Andrew and I cannot help but do sometimes, is we listen intently to the table conversation. Not because we are being nosy per say, but because the person speaking is speaking so ridiculously loud we cannot hear our own conversation. So we decided to tune in. This table behind us was filled with characters. Two dogs, three women. We overheard one of the women ask, “Is your chicken organic? Is it cage-free?” We roll our eyes and laugh quietly. Another oh yeah, we are in the Hamptons moments.
We walked around Sag Harbor for a bit, went into a way-too-expensive antique store, we tried some delicious coffee and donuts at Grindstone Coffee & Donuts, and we went into some art galleries murmuring, “pffft. I could do that,” to one another. We were just laughing and carrying on. It was lovely.
It was nearing check-in time at our Airbnb, so we left Sag Harbor and headed back towards Southampton. The drives between each of the different towns within the Hamptons were gorgeous. They were lined with beautiful shingle-style homes, golf courses, and vineyards. Even in the rain, it was beautiful.
We checked into our adorable cottage behind the main home. It was cozy and a lil’ dirty, like an Airbnb should be–right?
We were starting to get hungry and went to a place called Cowfish. The food was good. Our cocktails were bad. But we had a delightful time nevertheless!
We drove around a bit more, on the hunt for a sweet treat, and we found ourselves at Slo-Jack’s drive-in for an oreo milkshake.
Our first day in Southampton was delightful.
Day 2
It was raining again.
One day of rain? Whatever. But two days? On our vacation? Nuh-uh. We were not very happy about that. We both wanted a tropical, summer-y vacation by the pool and the beach.
But what can ya do?
We drove to Hampton Coffee Company for some breakfast and coffee. It was tasty, but nothing too special. We decided that since the rain wasn’t going to let up anytime soon, it was going to be another driving day to venture out to some of the other Hampton’s towns.
We first drove through East Hampton seeing some gorgeous homes (Martha Stewart’s old house!), then through Amagansett, and finally to Montauk.
East Hampton was also stunning and very similar to Southampton. Our drive to Montauk was long and not all that interesting, but we came across the historic Montauk Point Lighthouse. But it was so insanely foggy we could barely see it. This gave Andrew and I a laugh for how long it took us to drive out there to not even see it.
As one does, we started to get hungry and crampy after driving all morning into the afternoon. We decided to drive back to East Hampton and have lunch. We ate a delicious lunch at Bostwick’s Chowder House. We had some of the best lobster bisque we’ve ever eaten there. It was spectacular.
We drove back into town in East Hampton to walk around a bit and go into some of the shops. I only wanted to buy two things: a Hamptons-branded t-shirt to mark the trip and a memento of some sort to put in our home to remember the trip by. Other than the obligatory t-shirt one must get when travelling to a new destination, I wasn’t seeing anything budget-friendly to buy for our home until–
We walked into Ralph Lauren and I stumbled upon some free (!!!) Ralph Lauren newspapers. The front of it was of Ralph and his wife, Ricky, walking on the beach in the Hamptons and it said “SUMMER IN THE HAMPTONS” in a huge font. I knew exactly what I was going to do. I figured I’d get this free newspaper and put it in the huge frame one of our neighbors gave away that I had just sitting in our apartment. And that’s what I did.
We continued to walk around and fool these sales associates by acting like we were going to actually buy things at Loro Piana and Louis Vuitton. Andrew and I have gotten really good at role-playing quiet-luxury-wealthy since living in New York.
Then a torrential downpour started to fall on us.
We laughed and just enjoyed the rain, until we couldn’t really see anymore. Then back to the Compass we were.
We drove back to Southampton and walked around a bit more downtown, since the rain had lightened up. Andrew desperately needed a “siesta” as he calls it, so we went back to our Airbnb for a bit. I read the book I bought, Hotter in the Hamptons by Tinx, (“fitting” I thought) and Andrew took a nap on the very uncomfortable pink couch.
After reading for a few hours and he got his nap in, we were ready to EAT. We went to one of the places I had been really looking forward to trying, 75 Main, in Southampton. We ordered two delicious cocktails, two ridiculously delicious crab cakes, branzino and salmon, and then a flourless chocolate cake. It was one of the best meals we’ve ever eaten–easily the best piece of branzino that I’ve ever put in my mouth. We were full and happy.
Once Andrew and I eat a big meal, we always love to take a nice, long walk–to depuff, digest, and debrief on the meal. So we decided to stroll more down Southampton and then went on another cruise. Something that we weren’t expecting was how empty the Hamptons were. We felt very uneasy at times because it felt almost desolate and abandoned. We were extremely confused, considering it was the second week of June. We didn’t love that feeling.
Day 3
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I woke up: THE SUN WAS SHINING. It was time for us to get moving to enjoy this sunny day. For breakfast, we grabbed some Goldberg’s Bagels and got coffee at Tate’s Bake Shop. We sat outside in the sun, inhaled our bagels and espresso, and off to Cooper’s Beach we went.
It was a gorgeous beach day. We laid out our towels, turned on our Bluetooth speaker, lathered ourselves in sunscreen–and rotted for two hours. I brought my book and Andrew just laid there listening to Kendrick Lamar.
“An odd choice for the beach?” I said to him.
“Well, I don’t have a book! What else am I supposed to do?”
“I told you to bring your book…”
“Well…”
After enjoying the sun, we wanted to get some cocktails and a light lunch. So we hopped in our car and went to Southampton Publick House. Andrew got a beer, me a cosmo, and we shared some buffalo chicken wings. It was awesome.
We then go back to our place to lay by the pool. I took a nap while Andrew relaxed. It was spectacular.
We started to get hungry and went to Crispy Taco Co in Southampton. We didn’t really enjoy our tacos here, but whatever. You win some, you lose some.
We went back to Cooper’s Beach and walked for a bit. Andrew picked up some rocks for us that we now have displayed in our home. We saw a deer on the beach, which we thought was quite odd.
It started to get dark and there was hardly anyone on the beach but us, so we trotted back to the cottage.
Day 4
This was our last full day in the Hamptons. So we were very happy to see that it was, yet again, another gorgeous sunshine-y day. Off to breakfast we went.
We first went to Claude’s Restaurant at the Southampton Inn. As soon as we walked into this inn, the vibes were off. We were instructed to go to the basement for this restaurant–weird, right? We notice there are two people ahead of us, seemingly waiting for a table. But there was no employee to be found at this spot. Telepathically, we both turned to each other and the decision was made–we were out of there.
We then walk across the street to try The Plaza Café. We peered into the windows to quickly realize there was literally not a soul inside. We thought we’d try anyway just to see if maybe they had just opened. The door was unlocked and we went inside. There was NO ONE inside. No employees. No guests. NOTHING. We hightailed it out of there too.
Now we’re hangry and confused. We finally found a spot that was highly recommended, The Hampton Maid. It was delicious and we enjoyed every bite. Third time’s a charm!
We went back to the beach and stayed maybe 15 minutes? The wind was blowing so hard it was getting sand all in our eyes, sticking to our sunscreen, and was genuinely hurting our skin when it would blow towards us. Pool day it is!
We went back to the pool for the rest of the day and enjoyed every minute of it. We ate at The Golden Pear for a light lunch and it was unfortunately disappointing.
We came back to the pool for a bit.
Then it was time for dinner. We went to Shippy’s. I got scallops and Andrew got baked chicken. It was exceptional.
We decided on our last night that all we wanted to do was cozy up next to each other on that very uncozy couch and watch a movie. We watched Shrek 2 and laughed way harder than we probably should’ve.
Day 5
We packed up our bags and checked out of our cottage around 9:30 and went to breakfast. We enjoyed our cottage, but we were ready to get back to our apartment.
We went to Sant Ambroeus (callback!) for a delicious breakfast, easily the best breakfast we had in the Hamptons.
We got ourselves Hampton branded t-shirts, crewnecks, a hat, and a sweater.
We filled up our gas tank, returned our fire-y Jeep Compass, and waited for the train back to Manhattan.
As we recapped our trip, we realized that the Hamptons were fairly underwhelming and not really what we expected for our vacation. We felt that we were excluded from “the club” (what club? We aren’t so sure), like everyone knew something we didn’t know. And that’s not a great feeling.
But we had fun together, as we always do. We can have fun sitting at a DMV (which is a true story–we laughed way too hard and way too loud at the Manhattan DMV when Andrew had to get his new license). But we were disappointed in the weather, the fact there was zero people to add to the vacation-y vibe you get when you’re on vacation, like everyone is off work, enjoying themselves, and just taking it all in. That was not the vibe of the Hamptons. And maybe someone is maybe thinking well duh you idiot, but we simply didn’t know that was the vibe of it all.
We were ready to get back to Manhattan.
Anyway, I was going to get into my Palm Beach trip here but realized I am now on page 8 of my Google Doc so I will save that for another article. Stay tuned for that!
I hope you all have a lovely rest of your summer! Wear sunscreen!
Xoxo,
Jade