Life Beyond A Screen: A Digital Dopamine Detox
At a time in my life where I feel like I can't keep up, there aren't enough hours in the day, and time is flying by—I wanted to gain my life and my time back. And I did that by deleting social media.
"To free yourself, to be more authentic, to be less addicted, to be less manipulated, to be less paranoid... for all these marvelous reasons, delete your accounts." - Jaron Lanier
I finally did it—I deleted my TikTok, Reddit, and Instagram accounts three months ago.
(Okay, to be clear, I fully deleted TikTok and Reddit, but kept my Instagram account and just deleted the app.)
Why did I do this?
Let’s be honest here—you know why—for all the same reasons you likely want to delete yours as well.
It’s all too much.
When I had social media, I was overstimulated constantly. If I had a free millisecond of not being occupied, I’d, habitually, tap open my [insert social media] app and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll. Leading to me seeing something daunting or traumatizing or funny or weird or interesting or frustrating or covetous or disturbing or sweet—all within a matter of a minute. Does reading that list exhaust you like it exhausts me? That’s how I was feeling everyday being on social media: drained, depleted, and disgusted.
I am also exhausted by the constant consumerism that is shoved in our face as working people. Listen, I still really enjoy looking through some of the accounts that I’ve curated to my profile on Instagram: like Architectural Digest, home/interior designers/content creators, etc. I like to look at my Instagram as a digital magazine that I’ve put together of my own likes and interests. But when you feel like nearly every post is to make you feel the need to buy something, it loses its novelty pretty quick.
There are certainly dystopian undertones. There is a growing realization of how algorithms manipulate our behavior, prey on insecurities and vulnerability, and commercialize foolish and flatout stupid behavior. The "hawk twah" phenomenon, where creators’ attempt at authenticity become performative under the pressure of virality, exemplifies this unsettling blend of artificiality and exploitation. It’s a system that turns genuine expression into a spectacle for profit, leaving normal users, like myself (and most of the 5.22 billion active social media users), feeling manipulated, disillusioned, and derisive.
And what’s even scarier? If I was asked, “Tell me 10 things you’ve seen on social media in your 14-year usage?” I would have a difficult time providing an answer for you. And that—that makes my bones chill.
And I am self-aware. I know on multiple occasions I’ve said things like, “Oh I’d love to live life without social media, like in the 80’s! The 80’s seemed so great! I’d love to live in a time where I didn’t know what was going on constantly in everyone’s lives and in every corner of the world.”
Pause.
“Wait, this whole free-will thing, oh yeah! I forget about you! I can live that way. I just have to force myself to live that way.”
So that’s when I deleted social media.
It wasn’t from one particular instance, I just wanted to live a life as free of it as I could and be uniquely me again.
I was listening to Jack Harlow on Rick Rubin’s podcast and he said something that really stuck with me and reigns true, “Suddenly people's vocabulary just turns into the massive vocabulary and you're not writing anything original. You're not ingesting anything original, like if I had been on the internet [when writing this album] I don't know if I would have written “Gang, Gang, Gang” for example, like that song came to me at a time where it's like I'm in my hometown recording and I'm not taking in what everyone thinks about what's cool or what's right or what's wrong. I'm just writing something that inspires me and that's how I wrote when I was 12, 13, before I'm exposed to the whole world.”
And that was something I was like ahhhhhh, he is so right. We have all, seemingly, began to lose our sense-of-self and individual characteristics that make us who we are. We are so overwhelmingly influenced by social media it is killing our communication and is even slowly reshaping art as we know it.
I mean, just think of the phrases you hear people say (like a tic or compulsion) on a daily basis. And even the inflections of which people speak, it’s all sounding the same.
Slay. It’s giving. Sigma. Periot. Main character energy. Built different. Sending me. POV. I’m in my [blank] era. Delulu. Bruh.
Sometimes, it feels like everyone is speaking in the same pattern, the same phrases, the same inflection—and it’s driving me crazy.
As someone who is a lover of words and linguistics, this has pushed me to the edge. And being someone who loves to write and be creative, I cannot listen to it anymore. You realize you’ve become a play/pause recording machine of everything you’ve heard from some random person on social media trying to make some money.
I want to be able to perfectly and deliberately articulate my thoughts in my own unique way. I love learning new vocab words, so much so I have a note in my Notes app dedicated to new terms I come across that help me elaborate on things I’m trying to communicate. I love to be as specific and articulate as possible.
And social media severely hinders my (our) ability to do that.
To me, it all sounds quite stupid. Imagine this exchange: “How was your job interview today?”
“Ah it was kinda skibbity. I was serving main character energy though!”
And also, social media started to feel less like a form of connection and more like an unpaid and unaccredited obligation. The constant need to post, curate, and engage to maintain an online presence became exhausting. I felt like it was another form of the Microsoft Outlook app, except the key difference is the compulsive checking is from 9-5 and paid—social media is 24/7 and I’m working for free in my free time. There’s a pressure to perform for an invisible audience, to keep up appearances, and to constantly be "on," which drains the joy out of the experience for me.
That is so depressing to me. I want something to change. So I started with myself.
So far, it’s been quite fantastic. I feel that I am regaining my creativity, my sense-of-self, and I’m able to reflect and understand things better than I did before. I’m actually giving myself the time and space to think.
Those dormant moments waiting on the bus or subway? I look around. I observe. I notice things I didn’t notice before. I think. I don’t do much. And I’m happy about that. That’s what I’ve been wanting all along.
Although it has certainly been positive, it has also been quite difficult at times. I feel like I can, at times, feel “out of the loop” with things—whether its keeping up with the latest trends, friends, or what is happening in the world. But this has forced me to find this information and connect with friends through more sustainable methods and other, more reliable outlets. And that has been great so far.
Do I still get that impulse? Well of course. And that’s why I’ve tried to replace the “mindless scrolling” with more productive ways of using my phone. One of my new years goals was to do DuoLingo for a year and try to learn French. So far, I’m doing quite well and am on day 26! So that gives me something actually fruitful to do on my phone. I also get the news strictly from reliable news outlets like The New York Times or NBC News, not some random 22-year-old on TikTok trying to fear monger. I like to read articles on the NYT or from The New Yorker to engage my mind and have it actually teach me something out of my echochamber. And listen, I still use Pinterest. I don’t classify that as a social media—sue me! (Listen, I’m still Gen Z and am certainly not perfect!)
I’m not trying to sound holier-than-thou, I just started to really see effects in my life from social media and I wanted it to actually change. I didn’t want to just talk about how terrible it was and still actively engage with it throughout the day. I am going to go back on Instagram at some point, but with a better mindset going forward. I certainly have my own issues with social media clearly, but you don’t have to delete everything to be self-aware and to acknowledge your own relationship with your usage of it.
TikTok has a dangerous side. Reddit can descend into a cesspool of negativity. And Instagram? It’s like that overly wealthy friend who flaunts their picture-perfect life, even though you suspect the reality is far from it. Yet, these platforms aren’t all bad and I fully know that. TikTok can be a goldmine for life hacks, laughter, and genuinely helpful content. Reddit can thrive on deep, thoughtful discussions. Instagram shines as a creative outlet and a way to stay connected with loved ones. But here’s the thing about us humans: we have a knack for taking something good, pushing it too far, and ruining it for ourselves.
So, I’m trying to reevaluate my own 14-year-relationship with it and give life a try without it for a bit.
We have relied on it for too long, whether it be as a way to escape our emotions, to replace an otherwise moment of peace for a moment of mindless scrolling, or allowing it to steal our time away—it’s gone too far.
I needed a change.
Dear Reader,
If you also feel any of these things I’ve mentioned—please know you are not alone. There is a quote about social media that says, “Social media is like a mirror that shows you only the best version of everyone else, making you feel inadequate and worse about your own life.” And you shouldn’t feel inadequate or bad about your own life. But I know you might, because I do too sometimes. And that’s okay. We’re only human. We are all just trying the best we can! I was really fed up with feeling like I was behind in life or doing something wrong or not making enough money or not going on enough vacations, but I quickly snapped out of this thinking and realized, well, remembered rather, that social media is not real life. We are all on our own beautiful journeys in life and we all have our own path and twists and turns that we need to take to become the best versions of ourselves. We’re all just trying our best to navigate a world that becomes more demanding, complex, and scary day by day. So be kind to yourself. Give yourself grace. Always remember, it’s okay to take a step back to protect your peace and focus on what truly matters to you. And, side note, when you take a moment to get your head out of your phone and look up, the life you have is far more beautiful and wonderful than you think it is.
I’m here for you!
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” - Theodore Rosevelt
Best,
Jade